“Now while He was in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, many people saw the signs He was performing and believed in His name. But Jesus would not entrust Himself to them, for He knew all people.” John 2:23-24
Technically, this particular entry was meant to focus on John 2:23-3:15, but I am having trouble getting past the first two verses. So I am going to leave the beginning of Jesus’ encounter with Nicodemus (as found in John 3) for you faithful readers to dig into on your own and stick with what hit me like a freight train this morning. “…many people saw the signs He was performing AND believed in His name” (John 2:23). The phrasing of this verse makes it seem like the signs were the root of their faith and therefore Jesus did not “entrust Himself to them.” It would be easy to judge the nameless people in this passage for needing to see something to believe but doing so would be hypocritical for how often have I waited for Jesus to prove Himself to me? How often have I waited for Him to bring me through a trial before praising Him and reaffirming my faith in His goodness?
Today is day 23 of my stay at the luxurious Huntington Hospital – and believe me, it is luxurious as far as hospitals go. They are bringing me a cottage cheese and fruit plate as I type this! And while here, I, like the crowds in the verse above, have been amazed by the signs the Lord has performed. He has shown Himself in the love of people – people like my LCPC family who have sent cards, visitors, flowers and prayers. People like the children of CFC, who have sent me posters of their footprints and pictures of babies and rainbows. People like the families of a church I sang at one time in Kentucky who have been checking in regularly through social media. The Lord has shown Himself in the way He has quieted our baby girl’s heartbeat when it was racing and we were minutes away from having to call an emergency doctor and suddenly her heart slowed down to a normal pace again. He has shown Himself in several nurses who have not only taken care of me and baby Pollock but whispered that they would pray for me when they went home. God has shown Himself here. I am so grateful and it would be easy to leave it at that… perhaps I would have just left it at that if the Holy Spirit had not used those two verses above to convict me. You see, in my prayers these past three weeks I have been only thanking God for what He has done and the signs He has shown. I have praised Him for the people He has sent me. I have thanked Him for the medical marvels that have kept this pregnancy going. And God rightly deserves that praise and gratitude. He has been beyond generous. But in the midst of it all, I have forgotten that I worship God not just for what He does but for who He is. He is faithful. He is loving. He is good. He is loyal to His children. I have let my faith rest on His signs and that is not where it belongs. My faith belongs in Him – regardless of what He does or does not do. I want to be a servant that Jesus can trust to say on both my best day and my worst: You, Lord, are worthy. Worthy is the Lamb.